Large Families and Teen Drivers, What to Do?

We've had the privilege of having two teen drivers to make their way through the ranks of our family so far. We had a lot of kinks to work out in the realms of teen drivers (and other areas too). Where we live, it isn't uncommon for parents to give their 16 year olds free reign of a brand new or nearly new vehicle with little to no driving restrictions. We knew this method just wasn't going to work for our family and family values.

It is our intentions to teach our children responsibility, how to value a dollar, and that you 'work' your way through life (as opposed to being handed everything). We knew we wanted these core values applied to the ins and outs of how we handled teen drivers as well. 

We did quite a bit of research on how to handle this very sensitive aspect of child raising. But, we were also intentional to inquire from large family parents who have walked this road before us. Let's face it, there's lots of dynamics larger than normal sized families have to take into consideration that smaller families do not have to deal with.

After much debate and prayer we came up with a plan as to how we would approach teen drivers within our family. Now each family will have their own variables which will effect their plan of attack for handling their teen drivers, but I find it helps to have input from other parents walking similar paths. Take what I share today with a grain of salt and tweak it to fit your family.

Williams Family Teen Driver Memorandum

1. With approved maturity, permit can be pursued at age 15.
2. With continued respect and maturity shown, drivers license can be pursued at age 16.
3. Option to purchase own vehicle at 16, but we (Mom & Dad) will not be providing teen with their 'own' vehicle.
4. Must pay for gas, even if driving parents vehicle.
5. Must ask permission to drive anywhere, giving exact times and locations teen plans to visit.
6. If planning to drive regularly, teen is required to buy cell phone and pay for own cell phone plan.
7. If teen chooses to purchase vehicle, teen will be responsible for payment, gas, insurance, maintenance, etc.
8. If teen chooses to drive parents vehicle, parents will pay for vehicle, insurance, and maintenance until 18.
9. No driving after dark unless absolutely necessary.
10. Driving under the age of 18 is a privilege, not a right and keys can/will be revoked at any time if teen chooses not to abide by family rules.

I'm sure to some, our family's approach to teen drivers probably comes off as barbaric and behind the times. But, we are a tad bit old-fashion. We believe in parenting our children. We aren't here to be their best friends. Yes, we have to let loose of the reigns at some point, but it is our intentions that it's a gradual loosening and not a sever at the ripe ol' age of 16.

Two of our core goals in parenting is to keep our children safe AND to teach them how to be competent adults who can function on their own two feet without their parents financial support. How we handle teen drivers is a prime opportunity to help shape our children into the men and women they will become one day. 

For now this is what is working for us, but I'm well aware that each child is different and our plan most likely we have to be adjusted to meet the needs of each child as they become teen drivers. But, I'm confident that for the most part, our family's teen driving guidelines will remain similar.

We had purchased a smaller truck for our oldest son when he first became a teen driver, he has since bought a new truck on his own dime and we sold that old truck. But, because our boys manage their own property maintenance and lawn care business we knew we needed another (bigger) truck for our current 16 year old who did not want to purchase his own vehicle at this time (he had the money, but he wanted to continue saving). We happened upon an amazing deal on this Dodge truck and now Elijah is the current main driver of it, even though it is 'our' truck. 

Parenting is tough! There's so many issues we have to navigate, especially as our children get older. I've found that all the 'mommy bloggers' out there slowly start to disappear once their children reach the teen years. Sheesh, I'm finding that is the time I need the most support, encouragement, and wisdom. Hopefully, y'all can glean a little from this post regarding older children. Lord knows we've had our fair share of 'grappling through the dark' as we find our way as parents of teenagers.

With Love & Hope,

Jennifer