Social Media & the Modern Mommy

I've often had a love/hate relationship with social media. I mean the name doesn't exactly denote something we should spend an exorbitant amount of time frequenting. But at the same time most people can't seem to live without it. The majority of people have at least one social media account, if not more. As with all things I do think it can be a positive addition to our lives if used in moderation and appropriately.

Let me back up and give y'all a little background of our personal family dynamics. Our family chooses to live a simple life, one that doesn't include many extracurricular activities such as sports and other nonacademic lessons like dance or music. We purpose to save our money to pursue other family activities such as traveling and 'adventuring' through God's creation. Our church only meets once a week. Homeschool co-ops aren't something we choose to participate in either nor do we do many play-dates. (We do visit with friends, it's just usually a family event after church on Sundays.) This lifestyle has meant many days at home with little to no interaction with folks outside of our immediate family.

Now, I'm not complaining; I love our nontraditional lifestyle, but it can be very isolating at times. This is where social media has been a true God-send for me. While my family is my ultimate focus, I do desire love, support, and encouragement from like-minded ladies. I have found social media to fill that niche and then some. I have made some amazing friends and know if we met in person it would be a joyous occasion of kindred spirits reuniting. It is a wonderful blessing to be able to communicate with my online friends (that may be states away) without leaving my home. During my struggles and triumphs they are simply a direct message away from giving me the little bit of encouragement I need to make it through a difficult day or rejoicing in one of my victories.

Women need other women to help navigate this crazy journey we are on as mothers. We need to know we are not alone in our struggles. We need to celebrate our victories with those who can truly appreciate what we are going through. But finding that consistent support can be difficult when our lives revolve around our family's. Social media can help to fill that void so long as we remember some critical guidelines in using social media.

• Treat people the way you want to be treated even when you can't physically see the other person.
• Read everything with 'a grain of salt'. What others share may not be the gospel truth or applicable to you and your family.
• Don't compare yourself to others. Glean from your 'friends', but don't allow them to make you feel inferior.
• Keep it real. Share the highlights of your life, the good and the not so good. Remember others are gleaning from your insights too. People want to know the real you.
• Keep Christ first. God should be in all that we do, even our interactions on social media.

Much of life is about finding balance in all that we do. We need to effectively balance our interaction with others whether that is via social media or in real life. Spending too much time away from our God-given responsibilities through social media or any other outlet is not healthy or pleasing to the Lord. But, we can choose to use all of our resources, including social media, as blessings to help us best fulfill our roles as women, wives, and mothers.

With Love & Hope,
Jennifer

How To Get More Done: 5 Secrets of Productive Moms

The number one question I get asked is: "How do you get so much done!" I can assure you I am not supermom, but The Lord has blessed me with the ability to productively manage my days (for the most part). Every person is given the same amount of hours each day to accomplish all the Lord has set before them. I find attitude and perspective are essential to making the most of each day, but there are 5 SECRETS I specifically use to successfully tackle the many tasks a mom must get done in any given day.

• Wake Before the Children: This can be mighty hard when you have little ones, but I find getting up just 30 minutes before my kids allows me to collect my thoughts and prepare my heart and mind for the day. My personal goal is to be up 1.5 hours before my kids, which gives me ample time to invest in my own personal needs that I may best serve my family. Getting up so early inadvertently means I must purpose to get into the bed at a decent hour. Getting in the bed early means that I must make a point to effectively management our family evenings. This will look different for each family; but I purpose to orchestrate our evenings so that dinner is planned and prepped early, baths and family worship follows immediately after dinner, and then kids are in the bed shortly after baths.
• Exercise Your Mind, Body, & Spirit: A mother cannot adequately take care of her family if she is not taking care of herself. Rising before my children in the morning allows me the time to exercise (uninterrupted), read the scriptures and pray, as well as read and/or research topics reflective of my current interests and needs. When we take the time to improve ourselves and keep our mind and bodies in optimum health we are more likely to have the clarity and focus to accomplish the many demands of motherhood.
• Eat a Healthy Diet: Proper nutrition is paramount for keeping our bodies healthy. When we eat nutrient dense foods, our bodies will respond accordingly. Choosing to eat clean, Whole Foods that God created allows you to sleep better, reduces sicknesses, and drastically increases your energy levels. Eating like garbage makes you feel like garbage which in turn drastically reduces the things you can accomplish each day. Busy moms often find it hard to incorporate a healthy diet, but I find it critical for allowing me to 'get it all done' and well worth the effort to make it a priority in my life.
• Have a Plan: It's mighty difficult to get things done when you don't know what you need to do. Having a plan, a list of tasks you need to accomplish each day will help you get more done. I keep a yearly planner which is broken up into monthly and daily tasks. I write down everything that has to be done each day and throughout the month; even if it is simple everyday tasks such as laundry. I love to be able 'cross' off the things I complete each day. Seeing your daily accomplishments will give you personal hope, inspiration, and encouragement that you are making the most of each day AND accomplishing the many tasks which NEED to be completed. Having a written plan will also allow you to continue to refine your schedule and to-do list so that you can get more things done.
• Give Your Day to the Lord: Only the Lord knows what each of us can accomplish in any given day. Beginning each day with the intentions to give your day to the Lord, while trusting him to direct your steps will help to eliminate stress, allowing you to focus on the responsibilities He has entrusted you with. In my morning prayers I specifically ask the Lord to help me to accomplish all that He would have me to, and not fret about those things which I could not. Life happens, distractions are the epitome of motherhood, learning to ebb and flow with those distractions will allow you to be the most productive.

"And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men." 

Colossians 3:23 (NKJV)

Every day is a gift from the Lord. One in which we must purpose to fully use, not wasting a single moment. Motherhood can bring all sorts of caveats into our goals and plans for life, but it doesn't have to be an excuse for 'floating along aimlessly'. Whether you work or stay at home, God desires each of us to live each day with purpose. Creating balance and personal grace are the ultimate directives of being a productive mother.

Life will happen, schedules will be 'thrown out the window', but having a goal, a clear plan for each day makes for a happy mommy and an efficiently managed home. But ultimately, remember, God is in control and give yourself grace when your day(s) does not go as planned and your to-do list sits for days with nothing being accomplished. Simply do the best you can, love your family, and work towards the goal that God has set before you: raising your tribe to honor and bring Him glory.

With Love & Hope,
Jennifer

Kids in the Kitchen: Memories Not Messes

As mothers we want to make every moment we have with our children count. We often hear the old adage "Quality over Quantity"; which certainly seems applicable when raising children. Our attention is pulled in every direction. The demands of motherhood are extreme and nonstop. A mom is expected to be everywhere and do everything with a smile on her face, all the while never tiring. Well, we all know that just simply isn't going to be the case ALL the time. And so we find ourselves on a 'mommy mission' to find those little nuggets of time to create as many memory making opportunities as possible. One of my personal favorite ways to spend time with my children is while I am baking and cooking.

Let's face it, we have to eat. Kids have to eat. Okay actually they want to eat constantly, but typically not the food we are preparing, sigh. Why not incorporate them in the food prepping process? Yes, I know you can do it faster and with far less mess; but remember as mothers, we're looking for as many opportunities as possible to spend QUALITY time with our children. I find that when I'm cooking or baking with my kids, that they have more of my undivided attention than with any other activity we could do together. Which for me, makes the positives far outweigh the negatives of my children being in the kitchen.

Cooking and baking is fun for children. It's one of the best sensory learning activities a child can do AND it's a life skill they can take with them forever. Even if you can't cook or bake, there are simple meal prepping activities you can involve your children with as you work to get the meal ready for everyone to eat. I have found the following 5 simple steps to help me remain focused on purposing to include my children in our family's meal prep even when it isn't the easiest process.

1. Remember you're raising children who will become adults, and the art of preparing a meal is a huge asset for their future nutritional needs as well as budget.
2. When children are involved in the cooking process, they are more likely to eat the food.
3. As they get older they will be able to carry more of the workload of preparing family meals, therefore giving you an occasional break from kitchen duty.
4. Responsibility is a good thing, it gives children confidence and the encouragement to believe in themselves in many different aspects of their lives
5. Time in the kitchen with anyone, especially children, often leads to the best conversations which helps to further deepen a parent/child relationship.

While it may not be the easiest to cook or bake with a child 'underfoot', I can assure you the treasured memories you are creating deeply overshadow any inconveniences. Purpose NOT to look at the mess, they can always be cleaned up, but look at the sweet child who WANTS to be with you, gleaning from everything you have to share. There will come a time when they will no longer be in your home to create special memories and make those messes.

Even with all the demands of motherhood it is an awesome gift and one that shouldn't be taken for granted. While none of us will ever be the perfect mother, we can look for opportunities to spend quality time with our children. I challenge you to let your little ones bake and cook with you, relax, smile, and enjoy the journey. Make some messes but more importantly make some priceless memories.

With Love & Hope,
Jennifer

Back to Basics

Sometimes life appears to be moving backwards. Not on purpose, but simply as a result of the reality life, which doesn't always turn out the we had planned. As Christians life can turn into a delicate dance of trying to discern God's will, giant leaps of faith, and praying with all your might that you've made the right decision. Sometimes we know without a shadow of a doubt that our choices are directly inline with God's will and other times not so much.

For most of my adult life (I am about to turn 39) I have longed to own a house and land. A house that wasn't prefabricated; a house that when in need of regular maintenance we could go to the local hardware store and repair it; a house where I didn't have to flee for my life and my babies live's in the pitch black Alabama night for fear of an impending tornado, and on and on and on the list could go as to why I deeply desire a 'site-built' house. The reasons for wanting land is just as long. We've been maxed out with our homesteading capabilities for many years now. Our space is limited. Furthering our animal husbandry isn't even an option. We do the best we can with what we've got AND we're grateful. But I know we could do so much more if given the opportunity.

Well, sometimes when you beg and plead with God unrelentingly for years, He gives you the desires of your heart despite it NOT being His will. The week of Thanksgiving 2017 we put in an offer on a massive 5,000 square foot 'fixer-upper' with 5 acres. We thought our dreams were finally coming true. Our patience and persistence had paid off, this was it, our homestead and final earthly resting place was finally ours! No more praying for land and a 'site-built' house. No more living in fear of tornadoes ~ this house was made of rock, brick, AND had a basement! The 5 acres was perfect for small animal husbandry and any large gardening we wanted to do. It was perfect, or so we thought.

Ecstatic, thrilled, over-the moon, elated, happy; those words don't even begin to describe the joy of finally finding our dream home and moving in. Sadly those emotions were short lived. All that could go wrong, went wrong. Within a few short months we wiped out our life savings and were in financial dire straights. What we thought was God's perfect will and design for our family was quickly replaced with the acute knowledge that we had made a HUGE mistake. The house which we thought was only in need of simple cosmetic fixes ultimately needed to be completely redone from electrical to plumbing and everything in between.

As first-time 'site-built' buyers we received a crude education on the harsh reality of buying a house in the American real estate industry. It's cruel people. It's hardly ethically and realtors will do anything to sell a piece of property. We were lied to and conned in the worst way. We learned valuable lessons on buying and selling houses that most people learn at a much younger age. We thought we had done everything right. We were God-fearing, honest christian folks simply trying to better ourselves and the future of our family. Well, apparently that agenda isn't the norm in this particular industry and any form of accountability is non existent.

Thankfully the Lord delivered us from our horrific house-buying nightmare within one year.
Since we were unable to sell our payed-for mobile home when we bought the big house, we were able to moved back into it after the sell of our house. (Thank God for unanswered prayers!) I won't lie; I was crushed and heartbroken beyond words. Why did this happen to us? Why? Sometimes there are no answers, it's just life. And life often includes set-backs and re-starts. Thankfully God promises he will never leave us or forsake us. Yes the journey can be painful and riddled with hurts that only God can heal, but God's mercies are ever real and present we just have to keep our eyes on the Cross, trusting that even when we make those 'wrong turns' He will always gently guide us back into His loving arms and perfect will.

 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 (KJV)

If there's one thing I have learned through this whole house-buying experience; it's when you don't know what to do or where to go; go back to what you DO know, what's familiar and the last place you knew you were exactly where God wanted you to be. It's been four months since we moved back into our mobile home and I'm finally finding myself at peace with where God has us. I'm not convinced this is our final earthly resting place and I'm still hopeful one day we will have our 'site-built' house on some land. Will it ever really happen ~ only the Lord knows, but I won't give up praying for it, planning for it, believing one day the desires of my heart will be God's will too. But until that day arrives here we are back where we started 20 years ago ~ happily homesteading our little one acre.

With Love & Hope,
Jennifer